


The Penis Cookie
We baked it. You’re staring. Let’s not pretend this cookie isn’t doing something for you. Our 3D penis cookie is nutrient-dense and absurdly satisfying, whether you’re celebrating a bachelorette, embracing your inner freak, or just want something to munch on that looks like it might text you at 2am.
Ingredients:
Almond Flour – For that good fat and vitamin E glow-up
Tapioca Starch – Gut-friendly fluff that keeps things chewy
Vital Performance Vanilla Protein Powder – So your hair, skin, nails, and muscles don’t give up on you
Homemade Ghee – Hormone-happy fats your grandma would approve of
Egg – Choline, protein, and vibes
Maple Syrup – Just enough to satisfy that sugar demon without turning you into one
The Flavors:
The OG (Buttery + Vanilla)
Harvest Hoe (Pumpkin Spice)
Moody Bitch (Chocolate)
Petal to the Metal (Rose)
Acid Trip (Yuzu)
Citrus Slut (Orange)
Hot Mess (Cinnamon + Ginger)
Savory Savage (Miso + Shoyu)
The Cap Vibes:
Plain
Floral (Mixed edible flowers)
Frosted (Forsting made with powder sugar - get over it)
Storage:
Keep in a cool, dry place for up to 4–5 days
Store in the fridge for up to 7 days
Freeze for up to 1 month (use parchment or compostable wrap to layer like a pro)
We baked it. You’re staring. Let’s not pretend this cookie isn’t doing something for you. Our 3D penis cookie is nutrient-dense and absurdly satisfying, whether you’re celebrating a bachelorette, embracing your inner freak, or just want something to munch on that looks like it might text you at 2am.
Ingredients:
Almond Flour – For that good fat and vitamin E glow-up
Tapioca Starch – Gut-friendly fluff that keeps things chewy
Vital Performance Vanilla Protein Powder – So your hair, skin, nails, and muscles don’t give up on you
Homemade Ghee – Hormone-happy fats your grandma would approve of
Egg – Choline, protein, and vibes
Maple Syrup – Just enough to satisfy that sugar demon without turning you into one
The Flavors:
The OG (Buttery + Vanilla)
Harvest Hoe (Pumpkin Spice)
Moody Bitch (Chocolate)
Petal to the Metal (Rose)
Acid Trip (Yuzu)
Citrus Slut (Orange)
Hot Mess (Cinnamon + Ginger)
Savory Savage (Miso + Shoyu)
The Cap Vibes:
Plain
Floral (Mixed edible flowers)
Frosted (Forsting made with powder sugar - get over it)
Storage:
Keep in a cool, dry place for up to 4–5 days
Store in the fridge for up to 7 days
Freeze for up to 1 month (use parchment or compostable wrap to layer like a pro)
We baked it. You’re staring. Let’s not pretend this cookie isn’t doing something for you. Our 3D penis cookie is nutrient-dense and absurdly satisfying, whether you’re celebrating a bachelorette, embracing your inner freak, or just want something to munch on that looks like it might text you at 2am.
Ingredients:
Almond Flour – For that good fat and vitamin E glow-up
Tapioca Starch – Gut-friendly fluff that keeps things chewy
Vital Performance Vanilla Protein Powder – So your hair, skin, nails, and muscles don’t give up on you
Homemade Ghee – Hormone-happy fats your grandma would approve of
Egg – Choline, protein, and vibes
Maple Syrup – Just enough to satisfy that sugar demon without turning you into one
The Flavors:
The OG (Buttery + Vanilla)
Harvest Hoe (Pumpkin Spice)
Moody Bitch (Chocolate)
Petal to the Metal (Rose)
Acid Trip (Yuzu)
Citrus Slut (Orange)
Hot Mess (Cinnamon + Ginger)
Savory Savage (Miso + Shoyu)
The Cap Vibes:
Plain
Floral (Mixed edible flowers)
Frosted (Forsting made with powder sugar - get over it)
Storage:
Keep in a cool, dry place for up to 4–5 days
Store in the fridge for up to 7 days
Freeze for up to 1 month (use parchment or compostable wrap to layer like a pro)